Dear Self
How often do you sit and think of a moment in time where you would go back and tell your former self something to avoid getting emotionally hurt, or to avoid some kind of situation that scarred you, made you sad, etc?
Sure, we could go back and save ourselves a lot of heartache but these moments and bumps in the road are what have helped shape who we are today! Regardless, I had asked friends on FB to tell me what they would go back and tell their former self if they had the chance. It got a lot of people thinking. Some were very personal and I am thankful for their honesty and feeling comfortable enough to share these details with me.
I hope you take two things away from this post. #1 We are all dealing with baggage and shit, you are not alone. #2 Things turn out alright. Whatever you’re dealing with now, will too.
Dear 16 Year Old Self..
Your Mother is always right. Listen to her.
Never depend on anyone but yourself; not because taking help is wrong but losing your independence is not good and there’s always strings attached.. Don’t date seriously until you’ve travelled and you are in your twenties… Never believe someone’s else opinion of you because it’s just an opinion it’s not fact.
Do not to get in a “relationship” with any boy till you are older. Be impetuous carefree and spontaneous. You shouldn’t have to think about what your boyfriend or girlfriend might think if you go backpacking in Europe, or accept a scholarship to go to school in the States.
Do not stress about what others are doing and what others think of you, and to focus more on yourself. Realize you can succeed a lot more when you pushed others aside and focus on your true goal. Not to be selfish, but to realize what they say is just words no matter how much they hurt.
Invest more time into learning where your parents and relatives came from.
Dear 17 Year Old Self..
Love your family, accept their crazy and grow from it.
Don’t worry about forcing yourself to fall in love with the boy with blonde hair. Explore life.. Travel..Dare to dream.. Learn to Love yourself fiercely and make no apologies. Don’t be so afraid of the future that you forget to live in the present.
True best friends are hard to come by. Don’t be selfish during a bad day and mess those relationships up. Own your actions, apologize, beg for forgiveness. Little brothers are off-limits.
Step out of your comfort zone. Being afraid of looking stupid only holds you back and hurts you. Everyone else is more concerned with their own insecurities anyways. Having a positive attitude and trying is half your battle. You’ll be amazed at what you can do when you just try. Make time for people who make time for you, forget about the rest. Everything will work out even better than you could have imagined. So quiet your worried mind and enjoy being 17!
You don’t have to be embarrassed. You’re not the grown up, you’re not the parent, you’re not a pawn and you don’t always have to be so strong. Focus on school, go out with your friends, get into some trouble and start acting your age! Only time can fix what has been broken, not you.
Dear 18 Year Old Self..
Take care of yourself. Party, drink, and have fun, but wash your face and drink water. Traveling face wipes and a tooth-brush in your console are a better confidence booster then anything
Do not worry about growing up so fast. Enjoy being young and a kid, life already goes by so fast that it is crazy to want it to go any faster. Don’t rush into things and when people tell you everything happens for a reason, just trust in that. You have the rest of your life to grow up so instead of worrying about what you are doing with your life, take the time to try and enjoy being young wild and free.
You don’t need to know what you want to be when you grow up right now. And you don’t need to jump into University because you are going to change your mind a hundred times and still not know exactly what you want to be after all is said and done! Your post secondary education and what you do with your life over the next few years does not define you as a person, how hard you work, how you treat others and what you put back into this world defines you as a person, not a certificate sitting on the wall. Oh and don’t let anyone cheat on you or treat you badly. Someone can say they love you and didn’t mean it but if they really loved you they wouldn’t have done it. Find someone who loves your unedited version unconditionally, respects you enough to never contribute to your insecurities, has dreams and goals and matches your hustle with his own.
Everything happens for a reason. That the guy whom you think will be your future husband, will sleep with your roommate, and you may think its the end of the world, but it’ll turn out not to be. You’ll get a way better looking, non douchey husband in the end. Even though you weren’t born into money, but yet addicted to a sport that revolves around it, hard work can take you just as far.
Dear 19 Year Old Self..
Walk away from the boy who broke your trust, without trust you have nothing
October. Just make it to October and he’ll be out of your life. It gets hard around the end of September. Real hard. Just hang in there. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it just keeps on gettin’ brighter. Except that guy from Saskatchewan. Just drink through that one and you’ll be fine.
Slow down and enjoy the little moments. Take time to smell the flowers, go out on that date with your best friend because the friendship you were so afraid of loosing changes no matter what. Drink a little less alcohol and do more salsa dancing because that was something you truly enjoyed.
He is not worth the headache, the lying, the cheating, the use and abuse of you and your family! He has crushed so many dreams- follow this one! Get away and change your life- I promise it will!
Dear 20 Year Old Self..
This is a new chapter of your life. A whole new decade has begun. Take this time to work on a fulfilling relationship with yourself. Whenever you think you’re in need of attention from a guy you are wrong. You are truly needing love from yourself. Right now it is so important to create a loving relationship with yourself because without that you will never fully be happy. There will always be something missing inside. Love yourself because you deserve it. Put yourself first because nobody else will.
Treat your body well, its your vessel and will carry you through out your life. Learn to trust the Journey and let go of things you cannot change, wear sunscreen , slow down and think and remember you are already good enough just the way you are. And always remember that putting your happiness first is not selfish.
You will be ok. Even though you don’t feel like you have a clue about how to raise a kid on your own, she will turn out to be the most amazing person you have ever met and your most valued accomplishment. Don’t ever settle… On anything .. Do anything and everything you can to follow your dreams – do what makes you happy first. Spend as much time with your family as you possibly can – the opportunities will be few and far between. Just breathe. Everything will happen just the way it is meant to – so try to enjoy the experience.
Actions speak louder than words and to listen to the heart. No man that manipulates, controls, and makes you so fearful that you lose sleep at night is worth your time. The I love you’s is just another form of manipulating you into staying in their control. Know that their outbursts are not your fault and their suicide threats and attempts that they blame you for is their choices and decisions. Notice the signs of abuse, love and respect yourself enough and RUN LIKE HELL!
Take a deep breath. The love of your life just walked away. The one couple you look up to is destroying themselves.
Stand up, look in the mirror, wipe away the tears of fear and brokenness. You are stronger than you think. Believe me. Trust me
Dear 21 Year Old Self..
No matter what happens, the sun will set and the sun will rise again!
Believe in yourself Girl! I know you get discouraged so easily. Be patient, you are already succeeding! Don’t feel guilty for doing what you love. The people who will judge you don’t matter in the end. You are beautiful, smart and important and I promise you won’t have regrets! PS- don’t sell your grey horse… She ends up meaning more to you than you could imagine
You’re a good person and you have a good heart but the way your going about your relationships is not okay. Not everyone is going to or has to like you, and not only is it okay to say “No!” But it can be empowering. Stop playing with people’s emotions-You are better than the way you are acting and time will prove that.
You are perfectly imperfect, do not let the fear of failure, fear of being alone, the fear of judgement, stop you from been all that you were meant to be. Making your self smaller because of fear will only hurt you in the end.
Dear 22 Year Old Self..
Take advice from someone who is doing what you would like to do.
Be kind. To everyone. Forgive doesn’t mean forget, it means your willing to have your life happy.
Don’t settle. Just because you were treated poorly by others in the past doesn’t mean you need to settle for the first one who treats you right. Even though he treats you right, it doesn’t mean he’s the right one. There’s more to life than being treated like the most important girl in the world. Be the most important person in YOUR world. How do you feel about him? You deserve to feel as happy and elated as humanly possible, everyday. And I’m here to tell you, that it does work out, and it will happen. Don’t settle.
Quit smoking pot it makes you lazy. Your mind is a powerful thing, listen to it! You’re not depressed, you’re growing up. Friends aren’t people you just go get hammered with, friends care when your sad, happy, lazy, or bitchy, they will come over and hang you don’t even have to talk, but you probably will without taking a breath. Love yourself!!!!! Get some exercise, go out and do something! And last but not least ENJOY THE SINGLE LIFE! I love you and your growing pains will extinguish soon enough.
Dear 23 Year Old Self..
Listen to your heart this time! You know deep down the right decision is the one who treats you right not the one who looks good on your arm. It will save you a lot (and I mean a lot) of heartache and a move halfway across the country.
Listen to your gut. If you know you’re not going to be with him forever, why are you settling thinking it will turn out to be rainbows and butterflies? Walk away. You deserve more.
Don’t take boys serious. They are not going to complete your life. You are going to complete it. Make yourself a priority. If a man appreciates that, he will help you make your dreams come true. Not kill them.
Don’t live for someone else’s dream, and forget to have your own. Dream BIG.
If it’s not a relationship that you would want for your future children get the hell out of it.
Dear 24 Year Old Self..
You are never too young! Don’t believe anyone but yourself. You create your own life.
Spending 5 days with Tony Robbins will be the best investment you ever made in your life even though you’ll think it’s expensive at the time. Any investments you make in your self, in the form of ‘self improvement’ will be totally worth it. Do not take things personally. Only you are in charge of how you allow people make you feel. Your parents are people too and they are just trying to do their best with what they were taught.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts and don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
Stop thinking you have to be married already. everyone’s life path is different. Enjoy it! Have fun! You are not old.
Dear 25 Year Old Self..
Spend your time with those who matter most to you, and tell them what they mean to you. You never know when you could lose them.
The truth is that 25 is just the start. It’s the time to make changes. Take chances. do something crazy. Take risks, change jobs and change them again. Move, travel and move again. And don’t be concerned with what everyone else is doing. While it’s hard not to compare your life to everyone else it’s ok to make mistakes (even twice sometimes). I think I would also tell my 25 year old self that it’s ok to let go of some people from your life. People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime (and that was a hard lesson I learnt that year.) Goals drive and passion will carry you through your life so find what you are passionate about. (Not whom).Start saving for retirement. It doesn’t sound important now but man a good start would be a benefit.
This pregnancy may not have been planned and it’s all really scary but I promise you that this is the greatest thing you will ever do. Forget the fears and focus on the moment. You will never love anything so much in your life. The days may be long but the years go fast so just snuggle, giggle and love as much as you can.
It’s ok to fight for what you want and for what is yours. People will walk all over you if you let them, you need to be strong and at the same time do what is right. Always forgive, even if no one asks for forgiveness it will give you peace. PS you probably shouldn’t do shots at the Christmas party-ever!
♡ Cassie
